Check You in Development of the Social Self Environment
-Watch Who You Blame
You are always responsible for yourself. Never should you look for reasons to blame outside of one self. There are people that are forever blaming the outsider for their feelings and actions. Very seldom will you hear one ask, “Why does one have to act or react that way?” Only when you are able to assume full responsibility for whom and what you are will you be able to experience true happiness and freedom. As long as one feels comfortable putting the blame on others, they will never change their behaviors.
People have always found someone else to blame. This began back when one blamed their parents for lack of love. Society has often been blamed for keeping everyone from having true freedom. Many friends and family members have often been blamed, even life at some point has been blamed. As long as one can pass the blame, one will never experience what is required in changing their lives. After all ,who is the victim? God has even been blamed. How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t know why God had to do this to me?” God is often blamed in the passing of a loved one. No one wants to accept that it was just his or her time to go. Humans have been known to have huge egos. Never do they stop to place blame on themselves. Whether you remain single or form a relationship , you should always know where to place the blame. No relationship can survive if one always wants to blame the other partner.
Relationships should never be considered a dumping ground for one’s unselfish ways . Only can you begin to grow when you assume the responsibility for your own joy and happiness. These things can’t be generated from an outside source. It has to come from within one self. This is where one finds true happiness and peace. If this were not so, you may be able to purchase lasting joy. Having money to afford the things that brings happiness to one self is means a great deal, but this isn’t everything.
When you choose happiness over despair, you aren’t just generating it , you may find it very contagious. Everyone has a need for happiness. When life is approached with joy one can often render the all too present pain one may be experiencing. This is no small matter.
Often enthusiasm toward your loved one to make them perfect or in an attempt to protect them from pain , we devalue them as humans. Humans aren’t as trusting ; tolerant; or thoughtful toward them as one may be with a friend. Still, this is needed in loving another person.
Set aside time to be close and intimate in the mind and body. Quit spending so much time in others lives trying to affirm and reinforce them. Learn to listen to that private person inside of one self. It is interesting how one can become so complete when they are lost in the lives of another.
Even as a child , you often found a brother or sister to blame if things didn’t go your way. Now you have a chance to blame your friends or lovers if things aren’t done to satisfy you. This will only cause you to become isolated. No one is going to put up with being blamed all the time. Relax! Search your inner being. Would you want your partner always blaming you? What kind of relationship do you want? Is always best to treat others as you would want them to treat you. Do away with placing blame if you are interesting in having a lasting relationship.